(5.10.03)  Well, managed to send cards out to both of my Grandma's for Mother's Day.  Couldn't send any flowers, as I now have $10 left in the bank until Deej get's paid next week.  On a happier note, went to my friend Teresa's apartment to have dinner with her and her hubby Chris.  It was a delecious baked spaghetti, and I made chocolate chip, peanut butter, and chocolate fudge brownies for dessert.  I was all fun and delicious!  I hope that Deej can get the full-time job he's been looking at, and hopefully it will pay more than either one of us expect, we sure as heck need it.    :(       Can't buy groceries for at least 2 weeks.

 

(5.6.03)  Grrrr.... still looking for a job that will pan out financially.  Life is getting pretty rough.  Can't post too many details as with the recent events in my life, these details have been being misconstrewn and what not.  Kinda sick of mean and confused people taking the good, well meant things I say and twisting them around.  I am currently looking at taking up residence at a summer camp for a while this summer.  I will obviously be posting it and sending out an email with the details to prevent strangers from getting sensitive information.  It will help put money in the bank account, and also help support DJ and I.  I kinda feel like a scrub by not supporting Deej and I as a couple, financially, right now.  I wish that things were going better, but I can't say that they are.  Bagpipe lessons are going well, but the carpul tunnel isn't going very well.

 

(2.11.03)  Well, it sure has been rough.  Grandpa Wiseman died last month, and that was very difficult.  Money is very tight right now.  Deej and I had a great time on our date on Friday (first one since the engagement in July).  And we also went to Valday with Mel and Walt, Stevi and Ren, and Katherine and Mark.... what an awesome time.  Other than the typical lower life forms that try to make my life a living hell, it was very fun to see how two-faced people really are.  Especially some of the girls in GV Ren... old friends... Thank-God for those honest people who are no afraid to be themselves.... ;-)    I got my tax return back and it's already spent.  DJ's car just died-- AGAIN, and my shocks went out in my car... feels like a monster truck with the constant bouncing.  Poor as heck right now.  But BAG PIPING lessons are going great!  I am soooo thankful they are free.... it's hard to have a passion about something when it is sooooo expensive and one can't afford it-- I love the group!    ;-)

 

(12.2.02)  My bank account just hit zero for the first time in 4 months.  DJ gave me money for the bills; phone, electric, cable (just basic for the local channels so we can get weather related info!), and lastly credit card.  I am so upset with money I could cry.  I'm really frustrated with family stuff too; DJ and I are hardly spending maybe $50 on each other and that's about it.  I have never spent more than $25 on my brother or mom or dad in my LIFE... and people aren't understanding that.  I am making Mel and Walts presents... they can't read this.  And I'm almost to the point where I'm going to need to take out a loan JUST to get presents.  DJ has $0 right now for presents, and I have $6.  Why is Christmas the best and the absolute worst, most horrible, terrible feeling, LONELY holiday?  I guess we need to be reminded of how poor we are?........

 

(11.14.02)  Deej just started working at Best Buy, so he's pulling an easy 50 or 60 hours a week now.  I am starting to do better in school, too, from getting to cut down on work.... all A's this semester right now!

 

(10.22.02)   Ugh.... that's all I feel right now.  I hate email, I hate misunderstandings, and I hate when people can't seperate personal from professional, and constructive criticism (even as honest and blunt as it is).....  I'm having some serious issues with realizing who I am again.....  I'm so hurt by what some of my former friends have done, that I'm re-evaluating who I want to have as friends now, getting rid of the "friends" who talk behind my back.  So, I've been getting rid of my aquantences this week, it makes me sad and it's really hard.  Money wise, I'm trying to save up enough for DSL internet, because the stuff through GVSU is a joke, and I need FAST internet for school.  DJ and I just celebrated out 1 year Anniversary of dating!  We had a fun day on Sunday for that, good food, and carving pumpkins!   ;-)  I wish he didn't have to start working 60 hours a week this week, between MC and Best Buy, I cried, worrying our lack of time together, but keep trying to think, "it's only temporary......"  He has new razor blades, still, and shaves up really well now!  ;-)

 

(10.17.02)  Well, GVSU Ren fest is done, and now I'm looking toward next years fest, the first one with my finished Queens garb.  Politics are flying like usual, but faire went pretty good.  I'm worried about the other "nobility" in the faire, however, overshadowing them with my new garb, which I will.  Simply because I am trying to be as accurate as possible, I mean, if you are going to do sonething, why do it half way??  I want it to be so good that everyone can appreciate the time (3 years) and the money ($1,100) I've put into this dress.  I think Megan's mad at me because I am concerned with her garb, and how I'm going to outshadow her, even eimply because I'll have ruffs and cuffs on it.... her garb is just not royalty just yet, especially with the visable hoops, it's upper merchant or low nobility.  I guess one just learns this stuff after 4 years of reading costuming and Renaissance books..... I feel bad that she's mad at me, but it's true, she has a lot of revamping to do, if not get new garb, for next years fest.....  I just bought $140 worth of groceries and stuff yesturday, I'm just about broke again.  Financial Aid from school gave me about Jack back into my bank account, I bought the new razors DJ has been needing for the last few months, the razor he has now has a blade on it that is 6 months old, so I got him new ones, poor thing didn't want to shave because it hurt too badly....  as for left over financail aid, they raised tuition again, so I keep getting less and less money back for books and the like.  

 

Christmas wants are as follow:  A scanner (with negatives) for my "Computers in Education Class" and my website, which the class requires, a gift. cert. to the new Oriental Store by my apartment, a gift cert to Schuller's Books for dance music and costuming books about the Renaissance, a Pair of Hakamas for my Oriental wear (size 40" waste), a Leopard Print Comforter for my bed, a nice slip cover for my loveseat sofa-sleeper, some money for groceries, to have my credit card paid off, and I'll add some more later, besides anything Renaissance or anything Leopard print!

 

(9.17.02)  Another day at school, I love my acting class, but wish that I didn't have to work so that I could audition for all these plays that I'm training to do with my improv class!  I'm going to start hostessing lunches at Mountain Jacks as well as serving dinners 3 nights a week, soon to be 4.  I'm hoping to get to take/share with DJ the fun of going apple orchard hunting in a few weeks, to go get pumpkin donuts and pumpkins to carve... I hope we have the money... but I've been setting it aside.  Ren Fest is in a month, and the politics, I mean, the shit, I mean, the politics are getting chin-deep.... twitch... also not helping my body/stress level.

 

(9.12.02) I'm getting even sicker, can't go potty, and my head won't stop having a headache.  I just realized the people I thought were life long friends, like M., D., and N., are no longer friends out of their own doing... like I need more stress to make me sicker...  Me and DJ went to sav-a-lot last night, I was too sick to eat out, so we bought groceries with very little money.  We gave my little bro, Eric, who just turned 17, $20 for his birthday.  I am remembering again, that faith is not faith until you've lost everything else.... I have no money, either.  I have DJ (and his fam), my family, and God.  My headache and back pains have gotten worse, they don't go away all day long... still can't afford doctor.  I just paid off one of DJ's debts to GV that they had recalled from collections (you know it's bad when collections offices can't even get to you!!! tee-hee), and his late dentist bill that's a few months late... and he still has 7 cavities.... :'-(

 

(9.10.02) Found out the reason I've been sick the past few weeks with stomach pains and bad troubles breathing is due to the emmense amount of black mold in the small building I spend all my time in at the Holly Ren Fest.  My stomach is in knots, and my inhaler is not working so I am not breathing well... I can't afford to go to the doctor, and I'm hoping my body will heal itself......

 

(9.9.02) Ren Faire was long and hot this weekend, 90 some odd degrees and humid.  I am starting to get sick and have problems with my asthma again, can't afford to go to the Doc.  Dj works all day today, and I won't see him till late tonight, and then I have class in the morning.  I have decided I can't afford to buy anything at Holly this year.  I wanted a pair of Faire Paire tights, boots, and hat, but that's money I need for groceries, so maybe next year.  DJ still has his cell phone bill to take care of, and we certainly can't afford that anymore.  We asked his mom for some help, and she is giving us gas money for the trip home from Holly every Sunday.

 

(8.31.02)  Worked at the Ren Fest all day today, and thanked-God for my food books for free food for cast members at the faire, $4.50 for a Philley Steak and Cheese, 2 $3 lemonades, a strawberry smoothie, and a lot of smiles from happy children.  Last night, before we left, we went to Walgreens and I bought DJ a new pair of toe-socks to wear with his costume Tabi boots for his "Puck" character, that was the last couple bucks I had, so I couldn't buy my new mug I needed for faire, so I'm still using my 3 year old royalty mug.... oh, well.  Gotta love Dollar Store, bowls, too!  ;-)  Fake wood is better anyway, it cleans easier!  DJ's Mom and Mike bought us dinner tonight, paid about $8 bucks for each DJ and I to eat.  They do this everyday after Fest, and tonight we went in Garb, so it was extra fun.  Having food in my tummy feels good, compared to my usual one meal a day and growling stomach before bedtime..... I'm going to bed with the taste of a turkey club sandwich and Sierra Mist on my toungue, and the burps are yummy, too!  We are waiting for some of our laundry to get done... free is better than 90 cents a load to wash!  Got my credit card statements, $400 from Capital One, and $2,048 from Discover (most of which occured when I was kicked out of my mom's and had to put cell-phone payments and car insurance on credit card).  I'm hoping to pay the Capital One off this month, and at least $1,000 of my Discover, hopefully more..... I have $15 in my account.  (Back pains and Neck pains getting more severe....)

 

(8.30.02)  Went to classes today at GVSU... realized that they still don't have my finacial aid figured out yet.... just deposited a $10 check from 2 weeks of Mountain Jacks, and a little extra cash.  All of the rest of my money went to gas on the way back to the East side of the state for me and DJ's other job-- working the Michigan Renaissance Festival, for $16 a day, mind you.  I guess it works, we won't do it next year, but I suppose on the bright side I'm kinda learning how not to do certain things at ren faire.  I'm learning lots of little tricks for GV Ren.  I made my bi-weekly trip to Sav-a-lot for some groceries, and the Dollar Store for shampoo and toilet paper.  I wanted to get supplies for chocolate chip cookies, but didnt' have the money, so I guess DJ's cookies will  have to wait.